Gábor and I like to give our children musical instruments to play with. We have; a roll-up piano, a selection of pipes, whistles and recorders, 2 bodran (proper size and a mini one), another kind of drum that is a bit like a djembe, an ocarina, plenty of maracas (and other rattle type percussion), a triangle, a thunder tube, a güiro and a ukulele.
We have all these instruments around the house, yet the kids hardly ever see me playing any of them, I don't know how to. I used to play the violin (until I was about 11 but quit because my teacher wanted me to sit exams, I just wanted to have fun - at least that's how my anti-authority adult self remembers it, perhaps my mum would tell a different story) and I also played the clarinet but gave it up as teen (when I gave up everything else that actually required some effort (like school for example)).
Gábor has written a few times now about Ernő serenading us on the ukulele, he is surprisingly good and tuneful (both his singing and playing) considering her is only 21 month old. We originally got the ukulele for Lily but she has never been particularly interested in it (occasionally it was incorporated into some dressing up and imaginative play - imagine Lily, in a kimono, draped in beads, strumming the uke while singing Finnish children's songs...magic(these side notes get pretty long and even have their own side notes (I wonder if it is possible for people to follow my thoughts in my writing))) she prefers the piano, so we have allowed Ernő to claim it as his own. That is until now. Now I want a bit of the action.
As part of my teacher’s education, I had to choose to learn either the guitar or the piano. It was a tough choice; guitars are mobile, I can take it to any classroom and beyond – but I had had a go with guitars in my teens without any success. With pianos, you can’t exactly take one with you (most Finnish classrooms are equipped with a piano, but the likelihood of me teaching in Finland is pretty slim) but I have always wanted to play. In the end piano won out but I still wanted to play an instrument that I can whip out and acompany my students' (and my own kids') singing.
Like I said we already have the Uke and the more Ernő became interested the more I played with the idea of learning, partly so that I can teach him to play when he is a bit older.Plus, if I want my kids to grow up enjoying music and inspired to make music, then the have to see us making music and going through the process of learning to make an instrument actually sound good. So it is my parental duty to learn (isn't it?).
Over the last year I have accidently stumbled across these 2 youtube videos both of which almost brought me to tears and completely sparked my interest in the instrument:
Then I came across this.
In case you can’t tell what it is, it’s a knitted then felted ukulele case, the pattern for which can be found on Knitty. Our uke doesn’t have a case so not only could I learn a fun instrument, I would get to knit it cute accessories for it too. It just gets better and better.
The deciding factor though was this. The editor of Knitty wrote this blog entry with all sorts of links and tips about teaching yourself to play the ukulele. It is like the world is telling me this is it this is my purpose (perhaps that is putting it a bit strongly). It is decided. I will learn the to play. And what better time to learn than on a road trip. Two and a half weeks of hanging out with the family, exploring the world, driving in our Lada, cooking on campfires and playing the uke. What a dream and I would be so fracking (yes, I’m a sci-fi geek) cool.
Then, just a few days after I had made my decision I saw this! It turns out that the uke would make me “cool” – right up there sitting on the band wagon cool. But I will not be deterred. Most of the time I think I am cool and for once in my life mass culture agrees with me
Rarely can I find the right words to explain what I feel or what I think and when I try, somehow or other, I end up offending someone. And so, when I stumble across something or someone that captures my feelings it brings me to tears. Today was one of those days.
In my little bio thing I said that some days I think of myself as an A/r/tographer and others I don’t, truthfully - more often than not – I don’t (although pretty much everyday I want to be). I constantly doubt myself. I know that I have the technical skill in textiles, ceramics (even drawing and painting but I seem to have developed a phobia of these medium somewhere along the road and perhaps should examine why in some more detail...but not right now because this side note has grown pretty long) I have confidence in my craftsmanship BUT I have almost no belief in my imaginative capacity. I don’t really believe that I have anything new to say or even a new way of saying it. I don’t really believe that I have anything of interest to say (or anything at all to say for that matter ...look at the title of this blog for goodness sake!)
In primary school I was always the best artist. I remember my third day of primary school I was sent to the head teacher’s office to show him just how wonderful the 3 clowns I had drawn were (the first day we had drawn 1 apple, day 2 was 2 balls). I was the only child who helped with the “teddy bear picnic” wall display in primary 2 and in primary 7 I was solely responsible for the classes contribution to the giant school calendar (December). Secondary school however was a shock. There were plenty of wonderful artists among my classmate; then came weekend art classes at the art school, portfolio preparation classes and eventually Art College. I was increasingly surrounded by people who could see and create wonderful things but rather than being inspired I was intimidated. I dropped out of college.
Actually it was more than dropping out of college; I dropped out of Art.
Slowly I am finding my way back in, very slowly indeed. Like I said, I am almost phobic of painting and drawing (well actually it’s kind of similar to my feelings about doing the dishes – I enjoy doing the dishes when I do them but in between times I forget this and use every trick possible to avoid doing them). I have a bunch of sketch books, barely used (if used at all); this one is too big to fit in my bag, that one is too small and makes me draw too tightly, that white paper is so pure and would be ruined by my marks, that one’s paper is too thin, that one’s pages are to good and thick for simple sketches, I have special plan for that one but I don’t have time for it right now. But every now and the one of them is graced with a sketch or a visual map or an exploration and I am learning to look at work of other artists and be inspired rather than intimidated and to use it to generate new ways for me to interpret myself, the world and our interactions.
The next great challenge is to actually share what I do with other people. I was hoping that by the time I wrote this all down I would be ready to say “and hey, this is the place for it. I commit to using this blog as a space for exhibiting my artistic enquiries!” but no, I am still to scared for that so I guess it’s just “we’ll see” and “I’ll try”.
I guess I have a longer way to go than I hoped.
The tone of this entry isn’t quite what I had thought it would be. Oh well. Here's an extra bit with a different tone:
Andrea (who did the video) has 9 videos on her youtube channel with text either writen by herself, her boyfriend or her friends, but each of the could have been writen by my (if I could write in a playful, witty way) and I may need to dedicate a post or two to some of them in the future but I leave you with this one. I swear, if it wernt for the freckle line I would think she was inside my head. She even has Gábor's dance down.
