To Occupy or not to Occupy...

A couple of weeks ago I said (only a little seriously) to Gábor that I would like to use all the student loan money to buy tickets to New York to join Occupy Wall Street (or somewhere a little closer like London). Gábor wasn't happy. I think I caught him in a particularly bad mood. We got into an argument. 

Gábor felt (feels actually since I don't think his possition has really changed) that if we are going to do something we should do it here, here in Finland, here in Oulu. He argured that it would be more than a hint of irony (hypocrasy) in using money borrowed from the bank to join a protest againd corporate greed (I can't really arque with that, he has a point). He was also against flying to be part of the protests (we are generally trying to reduce the amount that we fly) arguing that it was somewhat contradictory to the aims of the movement (again, he has a valid point). However, there is very little happening in Finland, let alone in Oulu, and I am not prepared to be a leader (I'm chronicly shy and I'm too polite handle direct confrontation) but the Occupy movement ins something that relly could be something big in our time and I want to be part of it. 

Gábor may not be entirely convinced by his own arguments, a day or two afrter our argument I caught him checking flight prices to London.

Somehow he managed to push the issue asside again, this time the argumet was to with keeping the kids entertained. I don't think he even heard me when I said our (extremely) social kids would be in their element amongst such a group of friendly and energetic people (I doubt we would see them for most of the days since they would be too bust making new friends). I almost had him last week. It was a holiday week here for both my Uni and Lily's school, we could go on Wednesday and be back on Sunday but then I started arguing against myself. How offended would my family be if we managed to scrape together money to go to London for a protest when we have't been to visit them in Scotland in a year and a half? No, I couldn't make myself do it. We agreed that we wouldn't go (and siletly agreed not to talk about it again until after the holiday).

The temptation came again today after watching this BBC report:

 but again I talked myself out of it. I think I was shocked to realise that when it comes down to it I 1) am reluctant to give up my own comfort and 2) am concerned with what people will think. I think my parents sometimes think of me as a (slightly brainwashed) hippy (that they love dearly of course) but I guess I am, after all, just like everybody else.

Chasing Tractors

    

We have lived in Finland for 3 years but until now we haven't seen much of it other than Oulu, however, thanks to Kitty, we are able to venture a little further afield and experience a bit more of Finland than "city" life. Sari invited us to help with the potato harvest at her grandparents place. I was so excited about it, I'm not really sure why though, after all we were going to bend over and dig around in a muddy field...and the weather forecast was predicting rain. But I was right to be excited, it was a great day. Four generations of people working together, being welcomed as part of the family; working and feasting. It was a wonderful taste of the life I want for my family's future.

The kids had a great time, Lily and Sari's niece were I think 2 of the fasters potato pickers in Finland and Ernest spent most of the time riding in the tractor on Sari's grandpa's lap. It was quite a special experience for him; my children will never know my grandparents and they don't often see their own grandparent so it was very sweet to watch my toddler make friends with this gentle old man.

I ♥ free food.

Last Monday when I took Lily to school I was greeted by my dear friend Päivi, with a bag of delicious treats. This summer she has rented a garden and has been growing (among other things) various salad leaves, peas and beans (which is what my gift bag contained. As I cycled home through the forest I couldn't resist stopping for some blueberries...the season is almost over and I had a spare bag so really I had to. Sometime later I emerged from the forest with about 700g of blueberries and continued on my way home. By this point I was obsessed, I HAD to pick some rhubarb (1kg) from in front of my balcony before going inside and on my way to university an hour later I had to stop to gather some lingonberries (aprox 600g). 

I am starting to gather various contacts for getting free food/food where I know its story. This weekend my whole family went north to help harvesting Sari’s grandparents’ potatoes, for our help we got some of the delicious potatoes . 

Also, the father of some of Gábor’s Hungarian students is a full time software engineer/part time wheat farmer; his grain has been harvested ready to be milled in the winter. After telling him about how Gábor has been baking our bread since being back in Finland he has offered us flour once it is milled.

I have been re-watching River Cottage (season 2) with Ernest recently; he likes to watch the animals and I like to dream of days that might be. Days when all our food will be grown ourselves, collected from the wild or bartered with friends.

Trippin' - June 18th

 Stop 1 - Budapest Pride

Photos courtesy of Marianna Kiss

Since we were spending our last day in Budapest at the Pride March, we invited each of Gábor’s family members if they wanted to join us and take one last opportunity to spend time with the kids before we leave Hungary. Each politely (well…) offered their excuse and passed; “I don’t like crowds”, “Marches remind me of the old communist days”, “I just don’t think it is the right way to go about things”. Each of them however suggested, indirectly (or even directly), that we best not take the children (“I can look after the kids while you go though”). None of them understand that  the main reasons we go is FOR our children.

In Hungary today racist and homophobic sentiment has become as much a feature in small talk as the weather. Support for Hitler, advocating genocide; it all slips of the tongue as easily as “It’s a lovely day for it”. But what I found even worse than people making these kinds of statements was how rare it is that people stand up and speak out against them. Perhaps it is a legacy of Hungary’s history of dictatorial rule, but it seems that when hate and violence is being promoted you either join in or keep you head down so you can live a comfortable life. For us, Gay Pride is one of the best ways of demonstrating to our children that it is not OK just to keep quiet, rather we should stand up and make ourselves heard. But unlike them we will not shout in anger, hate and aggression, but with joy, love and celebration.

Photos courtesy of ontd-political

The idea of SOLIDARITY is important to Gábor and I and we hope that what ever our children grow up to believe in, I want them see the importance of showing solidarity for our fellow humans. 

There are some who claim that LGBT have equal rights and what they ask for is “special right”. Frankly I find this insulting and clearly untrue. Consider my life:

·         I was able to marry the person I loved,

·         I was could start a family without having to justify my decision to any one,

·         I can raise my children without public scrutiny,

·         I have the security of knowing that if anything were to happen to me my children will be taken care of by my partner,

·         I moved country and got my resident permit on “family ties”,

·         I can contemplate increasing my family some day by adopting or fostering.

There are so many more aspects of my life that would be more difficult or impossible, even in Europe, if Gábor had been a woman.

Some than argue that these are not rights, rather they are “privileges”.  I don’t care what you call them “rights” or “privileges”, if they are granted by  the state then in a fair and democratic society they need to be granted to all. So, until they are, then my children (until they are old enough to make the decision for themselves) and I will march right alongside LGBTA at pride marches wherever we happen to be.

But besides lessons about Justice and Solidarity I want to give them the opportunity to learn about themselves. Our society today offers such a narrow definition of “girl” and “boy”, I would argue that, despite the best efforts of feminists, it is even worse than when I was growing up 25 years ago. Participating in Gay Pride is one that I see we can counter this and give my children a broader concept of “girl” and “boy”. There are so may different types of “men” and “women” that hopefully Ernest and Lily will understand that there is nothing they need to conform to they just need to be themselves and that they will be loved and supported by us no matter who they are.

There was a beautiful scene towards the end of the parade. Ernest started playing with and chasing his balloon down the long rainbow silk; so joyful, so oblivious to the looks or judgement from others (including the mass of photographers who also spotted this perfect photo moment).  

This scene (and the pride march in general) epitomises my greatest wishes for my children’s life:

Be Happy. Be Free. Be Colourful.

 Csanádi Márton - Photo Journalist

Click the link for some more spectaculat pictures of the parade.

How to build a community

I got this from Keri Smith (an artist who has been fairly influential in my thoughts about my thesis topic), who got it from a flier printed by...well someone in Vancouver.

The flier (and Keri) noted "if you take this poster, make copies & pass it on!". I like the idea of one person's vision that gets passed on. Something that starts off as a small spark, a thought, that picks up momentum and grows exponentially over time. So here you are, if you like it make copies and pass it on.

How to Build a Community
turn off your tv~leave your house~know your neighbors~greet people~look up when you're walking~sit on your front steps~plant flowers~use your library~play together~buy from local merchants~share what you have~help a lost dog~take children to the park~honor elders~support neighbourhood schoools~fix it even if you didn't break it~have pot lucks~garden together~pick up litter~read stories aloud~dance in the street~talk to the mail carrier~listen to the birds~put up a swing~help someone carry something heavy~barter for your goods~start a tradition~ask a question~hire young people for odd jobs~organize a block party~bake extra and share~ask for help when you need it~open your shades~sing together~share your skills~take back the night~turn up the music~turn down the music~listen before you react to anger~mediate a conflict~seek to understand~learn from new and uncomfortable angles~know that no one is silent though many are not heard~work to change this
text: Syracuse Cultural Workers